Also see the At-A-Glance chart.
- Tequila Grilled Chicken Breakfast With Matt & Registration
As you know, engineers are late-night folks. That’s why in keeping with my strict no meetings until 10am policy, breakfast begins at this time. I’ll personally be serving up my favorite dish, Tequila Grilled Chicken, from Left at Albuquerque. While you eat, I’ll also be personally checking your registration and getting you ready for the show.
- Catnote: Matt On Matt
After the phenomenal response to my video blogs, I realized that I’m probably the best qualified person to interview myself. So that’s what I’ll be doing on stage, talking with me, Matt. As you know, I’m somewhat a master of providing answers to tricky questions that aren’t really answers. Will myself be able to outwit myself and get some inside scoop? If anyone can, Matt can.
- 30 Days, 30 Challenges!
I love my 30 day challenges, and I know you love them, too. But like any Googler, I also love speed. So I got to thinking. Why spend 30 days doing a challenge. Why not a different challenge each day? So come learn about how I’m ramping things up. 30 days — 30 challenges. I can do it, but I want your help (as always) in picking the challenges.
- Bacon Polenta Break
Never enjoyed bacon polenta? The Southern boy in me can’t allow that to go on. Cheese grits, with bacon. What could be better? Another of my favorite foods, best served with friends.
- “Hello. My Name Is Inigo Mattoya. You Spam My Index. Prepare To Die” (& Other Lessons From The Princess Bride)
The Princess Bride isn’t just my favorite film. It’s a model on how I live my life. In this session, I share my experiences as being an Inigo Montoya of the search world, fighting the good fight against search spam. I’ll also explain how The Princess Bride is full of life lessons that can make us all better people.
- How To Be A Cuttlet
I’ve always had fans, but growth greatly accelerated after they gained a formal name last year — Cuttlets. In this session, some of the leading Cuttlets will explain how to join the ranks of Mattness. It won’t just be about how to surround me at conferences and gain tidbits of knowledge I dispense. Online will be covered as well, including a special monologue from noted commenter Search Engines Web.
- Lunch With Mattmaster Central
My popularity has grown to the degree that a new Mattmaster Central service has been launched. It unites the toolsets that have been developed over time to help Cuttlets in their fandom. Discover services such as the MattPinginator, which alerts you the moment Matt has done a post; MattLinkalyzer, which finds any links Matt has made to you from any site on the web, with a breakdown of PR values and nofollow implementation; MattRank, which allows you to input variables such as if Matt has nodded at you in passing, responded to a post, or actually addressed you by first name at a conference. It then determines on a scale of 0 to 10 how important you seem to be to him. Those making these and other open-source gadgets for Mattmaster Central will be sharing details while you eat.
- Matt & His Cats
You’ve see me write about them. Now it’s time to meet them first hand, Emmy (OMG! Cat Pictures) & Ozzie (Moving Cat Pictures!).
- How To Be Pictured With Matt
Nothing shows a deep rapport with Matt more than having a picture with him. But in these days of fake pictures, it’s so important to have a real one! In this session, you’ll learn the tricks. Discover how to get Matt to hold a newspaper with you showing a current headline. Learn ways to turn a handshake into a Photoshop-proof hugging moment. And more!
- Nofollow Break
I love all the Cuttlets equally, and I’m glad to share my time with you. But sometimes, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. The nofollow break has one rule — nofollow me while I head to the bathroom!
- Matt Teaches You To Read
Like others, I’ve had fans request me do various things. But how could I refuse the many requests of “Teach me to read.” Literacy is important! In this session, I go through the basics of reading. I’ll explain the alphabet, who characters represent sounds and how those sounds, when joined together, make words. By the end of the hour, you’ll be reading along with the best of them!
- MattCon At Night
In many ways, MattCon existed long before this formal show was launched. In fact, we all pretty much agree that the real “pro” work done with me happens at the bar after seminars at other conferences let out. So as not to disappoint, MattCon At Night is an informal opportunity to drink and socialize with me. Not that I’ll be drinking anything other than my usual Diet Sprite, of course.
One of my favorite games. A group of people (called a Serp for the game) sit at a table. One of them is secretly picked to be a spammer. The group then decides who’s the spammer. Make the wrong accusations, and it’s you who gets booted from the Serp. Last one standing in the Serp wins! To make things harder, some people are picked to be content farmers. They might sound like spammers, but kick them out, and you lose (the game was written with pre-Panda/Farmer rules). Sure, I play, too. But I almost always win, even when I play a spammer.